Wednesday, 10 October 2018

End of 2018 Goals

It's the last quarter of 2018! Where did the time go?! I didn't have the best start to 2018, but now I'm finally at a point where I can start working towards my goals again. I have lots of ideas and plans for my future, and know what steps to take to get there. It feels so wonderful to finally be ready to do that. My time feeling frozen by depression and anxiety is over. I'm back and ready to achieve. We all know that posting it on the ol' blog makes one accountable, so I'm sharing my goals for the last part of 2018, in hopes I can check in in January 2019 and have achieved it all (and more)! 

an aerial view of two feet wearing black pumps stand in a pile of colourful autumn crunchy leaves

Develop my art // A big one for me is to continue to enjoy art, and to develop my personal style and my technique. I'm very lucky to have a digital tablet to play with now, and friends who are happy to share tips and lessons with me. I hope I can develop a style that people resonate with and that I can use to express myself and my experiences of the world. I'd love to be comfortable sharing more of my art eventually!

Continue posting regularly // I've been working harder than ever before to make my blog a space I'm proud of. I'd like to carry on keeping organised, posting regularly, and making content to be proud of. I'll always prioritise my health first, and realistically, sometimes I won't get 2 posts out per week. Then again, some weeks I create 3! I'm not one to stick to regimented release schedules, but creating a regular flow of high-quality content is something I want to continue to do. 

Complete training courses // I've already downloaded some online training materials for short-courses in things like Freelance Writing and Graphic Design. I have my eye on a few more which I'll purchase slowly as I can afford them. It's important to develop my skills in the things I want to pursue, and to acquire professional qualifications to back up my knowledge. One of my favourite phrases is 'every day is a school day', and I plan to never stop growing and learning. 

Start doing freelance writing // I've realised recently that for my own mental and physical health, I'm best sticking to my part-time job for the foreseeable future. I don't think I'm ready to work full-time outside of home, and won't be for a while. I'm so passionate about writing, and have always had a knack for it, to toot my own horn. It makes sense for me to pursue freelance writing as a career option. I think I'll be happiest working part-time in my current job, and part-time as a freelancer from home, so I get the best of both worlds. I need the structure and social aspect of my current job, but also need the freedom and flexibility of freelance life to give my body and mind a break when it needs. 

Complete my Masters degree // Yikes. The big one. With all of the mental and physical health problems I've been dealing with over the past couple of years, it's my Masters that really has been shoved aside. All I have left to do is my dissertation, and I'm beyond determined to do it. I'm terrified, and the thought of jumping back into it makes me feel sick to my stomach, but it's time. I've come too far now to give up, and I am going to do what it takes to graduate and be Kiah Page, MSc. 

Manage my chronic pain // Since becoming a busier person, and leaving my life of lying in bed staring at the wall behind me, I've been really struggling with chronic pain. I'm in the process of being diagnosed with fibromyalgia, and I definitely believe that's what it is after lengthy discussions and testing with my GP. It's so frustrating being mentally ready to be in the world, and having your body decide to stop you. It's so important to me to get this managed and controlled so I can start leading the life I want to live. 

Do more mental health & chronic illness advocacy // My blog and social media have always been a place where I have been honest and open about my experiences. This year, more than any other year, has been shaped by mental and chronic illness for me, so it's natural that I speak about it. I regularly get messages telling me that my honesty has helped someone, and that means more than I could possibly express. I'm incredibly focussed on doing more advocacy for mental health and chronic illness awareness, breaking down stigmas, and fighting for change to help people who are going through similar experiences to mine. 

Develop my style // For a very long time, I lived in the same pair of trousers and a manky old sweatshirt. Depression kinda takes the fun out of clothes. And everything. I'm finally starting to find the joy in the bold, quirky clothing I used to wear, and I really want to continue developing my style and trying new things again, now that I have the confidence to! I'll be sharing on the blog and Instagram of course! 

Make more time for new experiences // I've spent way too long being afraid of everything and never taking any risks. I'm someone who truly loves new experiences, having fun, and grabbing life by the horns, and I'm sick of anxiety and pain taking that away. I'm going to make a real effort to make time, embrace anxiety, and take risks if it means experiencing something new and fun and leading an interesting life. 

Make progress in therapy // It's so important to me to make progress in therapy. Whilst I'm doing so much better, my life, behaviour, and response to other people is still completely shaped by my mental illness and negative previous experiences of the world. I'm currently in a type of therpy that isn't useful to me at all, but I'm hoping that cooperating with this and doing my best will get me a referral to the help I do need. I really want to become the Kiah I'm meant to be, and this is the way forward. 

These goals are huge, but achievable. I'm one tough, determined cookie. This time 6 months ago, I would never have dreamed of making these plans. I've gone from devoid of all hope and motivation, to filled with dreams and inspiration and plans. If you're in that dark place, please remember that you will get better. Your future is there waiting for you when you're ready and feeling better. You can do this. What are your goals for the end of 2018? What to you hope to do to wrap up your year? Let's help each other get there.

  

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